Today I attended my first wake in Japan. One of my co-worker's father passed away over the weekend. Today everyone from the school that I work at went to pay their respects. Some of the school staff even helped run the wake. I followed one of my co-workers to the venue. At first it looked like the wake was in a house, but perhaps it's actually a community building, since there was no furniture in either of the rooms I entered. Either way, outside the building there was a tent set up. There were workers under the tent who collected Japanese money envelopes from everyone that attended. They also welcomed everyone and gave then a small folded card that contains some information, I think it was about the life of the deceased man.

Past the tent, there is an entry way and a shelf to leave your shoes. Everyone must take off their shoes. The sliding doors were wide open and I could see the close family of the deceased, including my co-worker) sitting in seiza on the tatami just inside the room that the entrance leads into. My co-worker sat closest to the entry door. He wore a full black suit. Next to him was a woman in a grey kimono, I'm pretty sure that"s his wife, behind them were some other familuy members all in black and to the left of them were their children. The children all wore their school uniforms- they did not wear black outfits. I thought that was interesting.

So, after taking off my shoes, I followed my school secratery into the first room. We knelt down on the tatami, walked up to the family on our knees and then bowed deeply until our heads and hands touched the floor. The family of the deceased also bowed the same way. We exchanged condolences and then bowed again. After that we get up, to cross into the next room. I followed the secratery and those ahead of me as they all walked over to the entry of the other room in a hunched over fashion. AS soon as we were at the edge of the two rooms, we knelt down and then entered the room by walking on our knees. This next room was the main room.

In the main room- there were tiers of flowers along the back wall. At the top center of all the flowers was a big black and white portrait of the man that had passed away. At middle level of the wall, or the middle tier the coffin lay between lots of flower. The coffin was closed and covered with a colorful material- so all you can see is the very top of it. At the bottom of all the tiers a monk sits in seiza and chant Buddhist prayers. A few feet back from this all is a long coffee table. It is covered with a white cloth and there are three small insence burning pots and next to them, three small containers with insence dust.
When we enter the room all of this is to our left. To our right are many people sitting in seiza and praying. I believe they are friends and other family members of the deceased man. When we enter the room, we first bow deeply to the people that are praying. Some of them bow back while others continue to pray. We then wait for our turn to walk up t the coffe table area. There is enough space for three people at a time. When it's our turn-- the secretary and I walk up to the table on our knees, return to seiza position, bowed deeply, and prayed. First we both took a sprinkle of the incense dust and scatered it on the pot that was lit to burn the incense. Next, my school secratery prays first, by putting her hands together in prayer with the buddhist prayer beads handing down on her hands. I noticed that everone that attended the wake brought their own prayer beads-- well, everyone except me. So when the secratery finished praying,she gave me her prayer beads and showed me how to hold them. Then I said a small orayer quietly for a minute. That was it. We then bowed again, walked back to the edge of the room on our knees, bowed deeply to the people that were sitting and praying, and then we got up and crossed back to the previous room. One more time we knelt down, bowed deeply in front of the close family, and then we got up and exited, picking up our shoes on the way out.

I was very supried by how fast it all was. We were only in there for a few minutes, probably no more than 5. There is alot of bowing but very little that you have to say. I was worried before I got there because I didn't know what I should say. I got by fine just by saying, "I'm sorry for your lose." I commented to the secreatery and another teacher that I was suprised at how quick it all was. They told me that in the pat everyone would sit and pray along as the monk chants, but that now and days only the close family and friends stay and pray for a long time. Everyone else just makes a quick appearance to pay their respects.

Although I hate attending wakes and funerals, the one today was interesting. I felt good for going and paying my respects to my co-workers father, and he truely looked pleased that I took the time out to go there. I like that it was all very simple, and yet very heartfelt. I never anticipated attending such an event in Japan, so it really was a unique experience.